No, Inuyasha does not belong to me. Let’s get the disclaimer out of the way first. This idea came to me while I was writing with a friend. It is a very short, one shot piece dealing with Kagome’s feelings on a certain subject. This is for a contest on one of my ML’s, using a play on the color scarlet. Enjoy!

The Color of Guilt

By: Lazuli

<lazulidreamer@yahoo.com>

Blood. It falls in thick drops from Inuyasha’s wound, bleeding sluggishly now—the demon healing having already taken care of what was once a ghastly mark—surely one that would have killed a human. But Inuyasha is different. You can see it with the fire in his eyes---his arrogant way of moving as we search for the shards of the Shikon no Tama—a jewel that I broke shortly after coming into possession of it. The guilt still lies heavily on me—but it is not one that I voice. I am too ashamed. There is no one else here, Sango and Miroku having left to find dinner, leaving me alone with Inuyasha. He is half demon, and much different from me—but in so many ways we are alike. The burning shame of our guilt is one of them.

Inuyasha notices me looking at him, and heat feels my cheeks as I look up at the dying sunset—the colors rich and full in the sky. Streaks of deep purple and scarlet fill the clouds hanging low over the far away mountains—fire seems to collect at the tips. It’s a beautiful and haunting site, and it is better than dealing with Inuyasha right now. What can I say to him? He has known for weeks that something has been bothering me—and something that I would not say in front of the rest of our small group. A flash of red moves into my vision and I am suddenly aware of two startling amber eyes peering into my own, the hard look for once replaced with warm concern.

“You’ve been drifting off into space, Kagome.” His rough voice broke the silence as the fire sent up sparks into the dark night air, Inuyasha calmly stirring the flames with a stick. “What are you thinking so hard about? Wanting to go home? Leave here?” His voice was accusing and I winced away from the heat in his tone, the accusations. How wrong he was!

“I’m not going to leave my duty, Inuyasha.” My voice answers him after a few seconds, and I stare into the flames as if they could provide the brave words I needed—no one knew this secret of mine—my deepest shame and sorrow. “Or my friends.” I looked up then to meet his startled gaze.

“You know… I’m glad that Sango isn’t here tonight.” I am still quiet and he just watches me, waiting for me to continue my thoughts. It is uncharacteristic of him to be so silent, but I give a silent thanks for the reprieve. Inuyasha is the only one that I can tell this to—he alone does not have a part to blame me for his problems with Naraku. He finally speaks though, when he realizes that I have wandered into my own thoughts and not offering any out loud. I jump at his voice.

“Why, Kagome? I thought you liked Sango.” He continues to give me that intense stare of his. I nodded in affirmation. “That isn’t the reason. Or—it is, actually. I do like Sango—and that was why I feel so guilty.”

Inuyasha’s look was absolutely stunned. “Guilty? What the hell do you have to feel guilty about, girl?” He glared at me, eyes burning with the depths of the fire reflected in them, but I don’t shiver from him. No matter what form he is in—I trust him. Which is why I am trusting him to listen to me as I bare my deepest secret.

“It’s all my fault!” I blurt out. He blinks but I continue, taking a deep breath. “The jewel…shattering. It’s all my fault that Kohaku is controlled by Naraku. That Sango’s family is wiped out.. that… “ I sniffled, feeling my face wet from the tears, and my throat burns from trying to hold the sobs in as I continued. “That Shippou’s family is dead.” I looked up at him, his form wavering in the heat from the fire and my own burning vision. “All those people that died because youkai got a hold of the Shikon no Kakera…“

I wasn’t expected the disgusted look Inuyasha threw me. “Keh. It would have been worse if a youkai had gotten a hold of a full jewel. Weren’t you dragged her because of that?” He asked. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t expect such… logic from Inuyasha. I tried another angle.

“If I hadn’t gotten pulled through…” I didn’t even get to finish that one before an even more smoldering frown was bestowed upon me.

“Then I wouldn’t be here and you wouldn’t be here.” He snorted. “You were meant to come here for a reason.” He said, his voice very assured. “Everything has a reason for happening.” His voice turned pained as he looked away from me. “Everything.”

He shook his head. “So stop feeling so guilty about things that aren’t your fault.” He turned back to the dying embers of the fire, clearly ending any discussion. Miroku and Sango came by at the point, Shippou cradled in Sango’s arms along side Kiara. Any other complaints I could have had were ended, and I looked at my hands, bathed in the remaining few streaks of the sunset, and the revived flames of the campfire. The color of fresh blood and old blood mixed together. Something I can always relate to Inuyasha with, because just as he thinks, it will never wash away.