Hidden Secret Chapter Ten By:Lazuli Usagi expected to see Mamoru... or Yuukan as she thought of him now, but it was Unmei who first appeared, with a serious look on her face. Usagi met her eyes, and saw that there was something in there that begged to be let out. Begged her of a favor to be granted. "Unmei... do you know where Mamoru.. no, Yuukan is? It was strange saying that name out loud still. It didn't quite fit. Not with her friend that she had grown up with.... "He is fine... but I have come to ask a favor of you, Usagi. You and I want the same thing... to be with our loves.... the ones that we adore. This must be your choice, though." Usagi was confused. She wanted to be with Mamoru, ached to be with him. She felt almost as if she was living two seperate lives... the one that she lived with Mamoru before, and the one now. Both were pulling at eachother... she wished that she could go with her heart's wish, but she knew the futility of it. She wouldn't be selfish. She could see the Unmei was thinking the same thing she was. "Unmei... as much as I would love to be with Mamoru right now... there are my parents to think of still. They will notice something amiss if I am changed suddenly, and Mamoru's parents would notice the same thing. You do not belong to life anymore, you have moved beyond that. I will wait to be with my beloved. Please understand." Unmei nodded. "I do understand, Usagi, and I know that you have made the right choice. Until the day when your tie to life is severed, you will not be with Mamoru, and I will be with Yuukan. Until the fates decide we meet again, Usagi.. goodbye." With those final words, Unmei vanished from Usagi's sight, and she was left all alone in the woods. Usagi trudged home silently, unable to find her friend, and unable to be with her love. She met her mom's eyes silently, sadness in them for not being able to find Mamoru. She had grown up with him... he was her best friend, and fate had given them a new path to follow. He was already lost to her as that friend... he was already to be with his love... but how much? He reclaimed his idenity as Yuukan, as she had hers as Usagi Demeter. He was able to stay hidden in the forest, with Unmei... Usagi clenched her fists. If she wanted her precious Yuukan so bad, why could she have not taken the spirit of him? Why could she not wait as Usagi was going to wait for Mamoru? She still lost... A few days later she was laying on her bed, her journal opened in front of her. She looked at the entries that she had wrote when she was a child, talking about her childhood and the forest, and her best friend, Mamoru. They would always be together. Never be parted. Not even when he went away to school, he would still be there for her, like a big brother. Usagi Demeter's journal lay unopened beside her, but she knew that the last few entries penned were dedicated to her soul-mate, to her Mamoru. The Mamoru that could not join her in life... the same Mamoru who was not able to join her in life now. She let the tears fall from her face, and buried her sobs in her pillow. She didn't hear anyone come into the room, but felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw her mother, and let her frustration and sadness take a new home. Her mother held her as she cried. "Usagi.... I know how much Mamoru meant to you. We won't give up home looking for him... but... it might be best to realize that he might not be coming back.... I know he was like a brother to you, but..." Her mother's words trailed off, unable to say more, to make her daughter cry more. Usagi never replied, but looked up at her mother once, grabbed both journals, and made her way down the stairs and out of the house to go to the ruins. "I don't like it..." Usagi's mother said to Mrs. Yumeni. "Every day she goes to that old place. She doesn't go to school anymore, and she barely eats. It was as if she was in mourning, or pining away for a lost love. I knew that her and Mamoru cared for eachother, but I didn't know their feelings ran any deeper than that." Mamoru's mother sighed as she looked off into the direction that Usagi was. The same direction that Mamoru vanished into three weeks ago. It wasn't healthy, what Usagi was doing. She acted as if she would find her lost child if she went there often enough, was faithful enough to his memory. Usagi was wasting away. Her eyes were always staring off into something that only she could see, and she never asked for anyone to come with her, to comfort her in her grief. After that one day with her mother, Usagi shut out the rest of the world, concentrating on a single flame of hope that she would find him again. Usagi smiled to herself as she walked around the forest. It was so peaceful to her now. She was aware that her family was worried about her; but it truly didn't seem to matter anymore. All that mattered was finding those two who meant the world to her. She let the bag that held her journals and pens in it swing, and her eyes brightened as she came across another spot that her and Mamoru had frequented so often when they were growing up. She leaned aganist the massive tree, and took out her journal once more. The pages were being filled up at a fast rate once more, and she sighed as she saw she only had a few more spaces left to write. November 5 They all think that I have gone crazy. That I am still searching for any sign of Mamoru, any way to bring him back to me. Thay are partially true. But I know that I will never see my friend again, for Unmei has taken him far away from me... where she has gone, I know not. Perhaps she has found someone to trade bodies with. Now her and Mamoru are living in peace together, living the life they never got the chance to. I am not sure of this though, but I wouldn't blame her. She deserves happiness as well. And for Mamoru.. I wish that my friend and I could have made it together.. but a part of of us would always be reaching out to something unknown. Always longing for something that we were never given a taste of. I hope that one day soon I may again be with my love. I would hate to put my family through the agony that we are going through now with Mamoru's leaving though. They would be devasted to lose both of their children. Is this forest really cursed? Even from before Mamoru guarded the forest? What I do not understand is how Mamoru could have willingly left us... without a word to his mother even. No trace of him, no letters or clues to where he had gone. If he is with Unmei now, then I wish that he would say so to me, to impart that information. One day, perhaps, I will receive word from him. Until that day, I end this journal. Usagi Usagi sighed as she closed the journal, knowing that she didn't have to read through the words to know that she was slipping further into her past idenity. Her phrasing... her manner of speech... it was all dating back to a time that had more proper thoughts and forms of life. As if she herself were losing the battle to maintain her present life. As if soon she too, would vanish from her family's life and never to be seen again. She couldn't imagine that, though. She picked up the older journal, and was surprised to find a letter fall out, a letter that had not been there before. She nearly dropped it as she recognized the handwriting instantly. Mamoru.... how... her eyes quickly scanned the letter, tears coming to her eyes as she found out where he was, and what had happened to him. And the realization that she could never show her parents this letter... for they would never believe her the truth of what happened. January 12, 1743 As I pen this letter to you, I know that you are wondering what has happened to me as this time. I have vanished from your life, without a seeming cause, without an explanation. I am sorry for this, Usagi. You were and still are my dearest friend... I had never wanted to hurt you. I never expected anything like this to come between us, to change our lives so forcefully. But is has done so. You may notice the date on the letter. Unemi has taken me back to that time where all had gone wrong for us... events were not changed... do not worry that your paths will not cross at the appropiate time, or that destiny will malign your love with Mamoru. I only write to tell you that I am well, and that I do miss you dearly. Always your friend, Mamoru Yumeni Usagi folded the letter carefully into the journal, lest it tear. She felt at peace for the first time since Mamoru had left her. She knew where he was... that he was happy. She smiled. He had Unmei had gotten the life together that they never gotten before. She had her time with Mamoru before. Now it was just a matter of waiting before they were together again. She carefully packed up her books, and set off at a brisk pace to make her way home, feeling alive again, and ready to be with her family once more. ~One Year Later~ Usagi rested aganist the roof of the house, exhuasted. Her father was too weak to climb up to fix the shingles that the last storm blew off, so she was up here, doing the job. She didn't mind, really. It kept her occupied, kept her mind off the past, and concentrating on who she was now, not in the past. She never blocked out Mamoru, however. He was a part of her life now as he had been back then, and she knew that he was also waiting for the day when they would be together. She had never told her mother nor Mamoru's mother about her discovery. She just came home, letting them know that she had come to terms that Mamoru was not coming back to her, and that she was going to get on with her life now. They nodded, just seemingly glad that she had accepted it. No questions were asked, and shortly after that, a memorial service was held for him. She sat up to get off the ladder when her foot slipped on the shingles, her balance going off, leaving her lying face down on the roof, gasping for breath. Her roof was quite high off the ground, and she didn't want to fall. She crawled over to the ladder, reaching to put her foot down on the rung that was there, when her feet met empty air. She couldn't risk turning around to see where the ladder was, so she scooted up enough on the roof, wincing when the shingles rough edges cut into her skin. She managed to sit up enough where she could see the ladder, and moved downward enough to reach the ladder. This was the part she hated the most. Getting up was fine. It was the turning around to get on the ladder that scared her. She was always afraid she was going to slip. Going to fall to the ground. She closed her eyes tight for a moment, wishing that if she *did* fall, Mamoru would be waiting for her. She placed one foot on the ladder, gripping the edge of the roof tightly. She slowly made her way down the rungs, getting a fourth of the way down when she realized something fatal was going to happen. She felt raindrops coming down. Fast... making the ladder slippery. The smart thing to do was to make her way down as fast as possible, to get out of the rain, to get off the ladder before it become to hard to make it down in the rain. She was taking her own advice, not worrying about the speed, when she lost her grip on the the rungs. *leans back, satisfied* That's the end of chapter ten! I hope you liked it... yes.. very dark and angsty, esp. for me. I'm in that type of writing mood, don't be mad at my muse. Be prepared for the epilouge! And email me!! Laz